Obituary: The Death of Common Sense


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, by the name of Common Sense.

No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn’t always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parents consent to administer an aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally Common Sense lost the will to live as the Tec Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after salaries of athletes and chief executives increased between $9,000 and $90,000 per hour and a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap and was awarded a huge settlement for simply being stupid.


Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.

He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he had gone.

If you remember him, pass this on, if not he will be forgotten.

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